Imagine going to a party
and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn’t know how to barbeque
and yet is always surrounded by other white Dads who compliment his barbecuing even though they’re just
store bought pre shaped frozen patties from Ralph’s or Food 4 Less
and while he’s cooking those the white mom comes out and says “okay kids, here’s some pizza!”
And she pulls this out
and starts telling the kids why it’s a “fun pizza”
and then cries in her master bedroom when no one likes it or finishes it
and the white dad is then consoling her while she sobs that she’s a terrible mother
and ruined her fourth grade straight B+ son’s birthday
and thinks her kids hate her but they don’t care
but she continues crying softly into her pillow
while the children eat poorly cooked burgers with unmelted kraft singles and too much mayonnaise
and the only other condiments are two pickles and pepper because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper
and the kids just keep playing E rated games on their Nintendo Wii
while the 17 year old older sister starts cleaning the tragedy up and throwing away uneaten “fun pizza” and whole burgers dejected from the start
while she dials Pizza Hut to get these kids an actual birthday lunch
and the mother then throws a fit because the daughter did something the kids liked and she didn’t and was the only one making a huge deal out of it
and the daughter was then grounded from her TV in her room for only two days
and the son went to blow out the candles in his standard birthday cake from food 4 less the mom added strawberries to so she could feel she did something
but was still slightly teary and sad because her day was ruined
by no one wanting to eat her “fun pizza”