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Some Asshole Slams His Desk

from Care by Allison Fleischer

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about

I think this has the best opening 12 seconds of any album I've worked on. I knew it was important to start with a high-energy banger, so this ended up being one of the most chaotic tracks. TJ (someone in a Discord server I'm in) made a sample pack "drumkit" of xQc desk slams as a joke, so I made a beat out of those. (xQc is, unfortunately, a Gamer, which is why he's referred to as "Some Asshole".)

The biggest contributor to the sense of chaos, though, is the constant back-and-forth stereo thing: I pan "seltzer" to the left for 4 measures, then the right is 4 measures. "Harder Better Faster Stronger" alternates left and right every beat. "The Boys are Back in Town"'s vocals alternate panning about once each measure in the original sample, so I didn't even need to do anything there. The result feels like you're being bombarded on all sides, never able to settle down.

lyrics

Yuhhh, it's hammertime!

AAAUUUUUUGHHHUHHUHHH
AAAUUUUUUGHHHUHHUHHH
AAAUUUUUUGHHHUHHUHHH
AAAUUUUUUGHHHUHHUHHH

AAAUUUUUUGHHHUHHUHHH (I fucked up so bad)
AAAUUUUUUGHHHUHHUHHH (I fucked up so bad)
AAAUUUUUUGHHHUHHUHHH (I fucked up so bad)
AAAUUUUUUGHHHUHHUHHH (I fucked up so bad)

Hey, it's-- that's my root beer! (I'm just as upset as you are, I don't wanna drink this!) Huh? (Where's my selt-zer, Dale?)
I'll show you where the seltzer water went (Thank you!) when you show me where my root beer went! (I don't drink your root beer, Dale!) You're drinking it right now! (Because I-)

Goin' with the flow! It is said
If you can't groove to this then you probably are dead
So wave your hands in the air
Bust through the moves run your fingers through your hair
This is it for a winner
Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner
Move slide your rump
Just for a minute let's all do the bump
Bump bump bump yeah
Can't touch this
Look man u can't touch this
You'll probably get hyped boy 'cause you know you can't u can't touch this
Ring the bell school's back in
Break it down
Stop! Hammertime!

Work it harder
Make it better
Do it faster
Makes us stronger
More than ever
Hour after
Our work is
Never over

If I controlled Rewind, I would want... Fortnite... and Marques Brownlee.

The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in tooooooown
The boys are back in town

I walk alone
No bridges left to burn
No lovers left to say goodbye
And so it goes
No shoulder left upon which
I can cry
And yet I see you there

credits

from Care, released June 21, 2019

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Allison Fleischer Maple Valley, Washington

(note: this discog is mostly chronological, but non-recent singles are at the end below Longtrack 2 to avoid clutter)

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